What's a Farting Turtle?
Farting Turtles are ubiquitous smiling friendly creatures. They are cute, dress well, assimilate into our lives nicely. But for some reason, when they leave the room there is always a smell.For example, pretend you're an artist.
"You're really talented. I really love your work, really. Good Luck with that."
Interpretation: That was a Delicate Blossom, subtle but with a pinch of "She ain't ever gonna make it" implied in the texture.
Let's try another one. Sometimes Farting Turtles have a hint of prejudice.
"For a gigantic pink cat you've done quite well for yourself."
Notice how Farting Turtles seem friendly and positive... but just wait a few minutes or a day later and the smell still lingers.
"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. We're on the same side."
The worst Farting Turtles that I hope never enter your lives are long-term sneaky ones. These Farting Turtles really stick it to us and we rarely see it coming. In the business they are called backstabbers and users. Strong words, but that's what the Shiny Shield a Go Go is for.
In these rare situations you may have to use some Farting Turtle techniques yourself.
Let's practice doing a blat-stomach turner-mixed message combination.
"Oh hi, I haven't seen you for a while. You look different since the promotion. Are you getting enough sleep? Congratulations again, you deserve it. What am I up to? Well actually I gotta go. I'm heading off on a whirlwind trip on my super trick motorcycle around the world."
Sometimes you have to fight fire with a Farting Turtle. But our goal at the BikiniKat Fan Club is to maintain a youthful exuberance that keeps us creative and feeling free throughout our lives.
